No one enters a marriage expecting it to end someday. That is why divorce is never easy for either party, despite what some people may believe. First, there’s the matter of broaching the subject to one’s partner, followed by finding a good divorce lawyer in Nassau County or other locations.
After that comes the lengthy proceedings before the divorce can be finalized. The entire process is overwhelming, regardless of whether it was your decision. The stress is doubled, even tripled when one has kids. No matter how arduous the proceedings may be, parents should keep in mind that they aren’t the only ones affected by the separation.
The children may take it harder, especially when they are young and don’t understand the full situation. They’ll move on in the future. But for now, the focus is on helping them cope with the idea of their parents separating. To ease their burdens, keep in mind the following tips below.
Break the News Gently
The first step in helping the kids cope is being straight to the point. Tell them what’s happening. It’s okay to cushion the blow, but address the finality of the situation, too. The divorce is happening; Mommy and Daddy are separating, and you may have two families now.
Another thing to remember is to include every child in the conversation. Parents tend to shelter the youngest of the bunch, which will only hurt them later on. If they have a grasp on language, put it into words that they can understand. Here’s an example: “Mommy and Daddy have to live in different homes now, but we still love you very much.”
Don’t be afraid of any potential questions that may follow. Keep as close to the truth as you can, while showing that you trust them enough to handle the situation. If they can’t, you should be there for them.
Stay Civil with Your Former Partner
In some divorce cases, there’s animosity between both parties caused by unpleasant circumstances. If you find yourself in the same situation, no one can stop you from harboring some resentment. However, try not to let your emotions cloud your judgment when it comes to matters regarding the children.
That is, be cordial with your former spouse, regardless of whether the children are around. Keep a clear head, make compromises and requests for the children, and try to stay away from any arguments.
One more thing to keep in mind is don’t badmouth the other parent in front of the kids. Whatever happened between the two of you should remain between you. Let your kids form their own opinions as time goes on.
Keep Yourself Happy and Healthy
In the whirlwind that is divorce and the subsequent events, you should remember that you have needs and that you shouldn’t neglect them despite how difficult things are at the moment.
Eat and drink whenever you can, pick up old and new hobbies, spend more time with the kids — these are among the many things that you can do to keep yourself happy and healthy. Doing this is especially important, considering how some kids are prone to imitate their parents. If they see that you’re coping fine, they can follow in your footsteps. Hence, there is a need to care for your physical and mental health.
Throughout all this, remember that you aren’t alone. Your marriage may be coming or have come to an end, but you still have your kids, other family members, and friends. There’s also the choice to seek out professional help if you feel that you need more.