Are you at the point in your married life where you’re really considering getting a divorce? You’re probably well aware of the potentially severe adverse effects it might have on you and your spouse, and kids (if applicable).
It’s a decision that you should think through carefully and intentionally before you go seeking advice from a local divorce lawyer in Suffolk County.
What are Your Primary Reasons for Getting a Divorce?
Admittedly, this question is extremely complicated, and you will need to be as objective as possible. Have you and your spouse simply become disconnected and have grown apart? Do you talk about and handle all conflicts that come your way? Is one or both of you unwilling to communicate and avoidant?
Or perhaps your feelings are just gone? Maybe you or your spouse is having an extramarital affair, so you feel that divorce is just inevitable.
Have You Done Anything to Try and Address Your Issues?
Have you seen a marriage counselor together? If not, now is the time to do so. Alternatively, perhaps you already therapy but you and spouse didn’t really give it your best effort. Maybe the therapist just wasn’t the right one for you.
There’s also the possibility that both or one of you wasn’t 100% honest during your therapy sessions. But if you’re considering divorce, this is really the most appropriate time to seek professional help. Keep in mind though that marriage counseling will only work if both of you really try your best to work out your issues and not go through the motions during therapy.
How Will The Divorce Affect Your Kids?
If you have kids that are still living with you, you should really sit down with your spouse and talk about how a divorce would affect them. A divorce could change them in various ways, even if you manage to pull off the smoothest divorce process in the world.
It’s also a good idea to think about the possibility of you or your spouse remarrying because blended families also come with their own complications.
Can You Still Remember All The Good Times?
When did you feel the most connected to your spouse, think of the most recent incident, and why? Do you still feel any attraction to your spouse? Are you still happy with your married life? Can you recall what made you fell in love in the first place and agree to marriage?
Try to focus on all the positives and really figure out if you can hold on to them and make your marriage work. If possible, try to decide as soon as possible. While this might seem comfortable and even impossible, keep in mind that you just have three options: one, stay married as-is; two, do everything you can and focus on working on your marriage; and three, get a divorce.
Even if you’re quarreling with your spouse and are on different pages currently, you need to face your situation head-on. Remember that you’re obligated, as per your vows, to try and fix your marriage before you give up.